I reject your reality, and substitute my own.

Isn't it a beautiful evening?

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 10:59 PM 0 comments

Tee-Time

It's a picture from the Seattle to Portland that I am displaying, but it is of the incorrect sport for today. For today, I am not writing about cycling, I am writing about golfing. For today was my first time ever playing a complete game of golf, a full eighteen holes, out on an actual course. Up until now, all of my golfing experience was on the putting green and the driving range, where I would simply smack buckets of balls and watch them land on the lawn. Never before had I lined up a shot, and aimed toward a real target. Nor have I ever had to chip out of a bunker onto the green, or aim for a putt on a banked green. Until today. And I must say, I'm hooked.

I guess I really have to blame my best friend for this sudden interest in golf. It's a money sucking sport, but I guess so is cycling. Haha. Anyway, a scout in my Boy Scout troop is working on his golf merit badge, and was having a lady in our troop take him to the course for his 18-hole requirement. Knowing that I was interested, said lady invited me to come along with them. I gladly accepted, and prepared for the afternoon. Having none of my own clubs, I borrowed a set from my friend, and proceeded out for a 3:15 tee-time. My golf bag came pre-loaded with equipment - a set of clubs, a pocket full of tees, a towel, a ball-mark fixing tool, and plenty of golf balls. I needed them, I lost four throughout the afternoon.

Playing twilight golf is a cheaper alternative to prime-time full-priced tee-times. But with our late start in the day, we finished our last hole at 8 pm, just as the sun was dipping below the horizon. Not long after we left the parking lot, it was dark. But it was such a great day. We played scramble-format the whole way through, which means that we all hit a ball, and then the group hits from the ball closest to the hole. I surprised myself, I landed a few solid above 200 yard drives from which the entire group played, as well as sunk 3 one-putts (only attempting a putt one time before sinking it in the hole). One of those putts was a 25-footer, too. It was great fun, and I look forward to finding myself on a golf course again fairly soon!

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 9:44 PM 0 comments

Ordeal Weekend

You may have noticed that I missed a post over the weekend, on Saturday. Occasionally, I will miss a post on the weekend, most likely from my not being at home on those days. This previous weekend, I was out at Camp Hahobas, at an Order of the Arrow Ordeal. Not as a participant, I fulfilled that requirement last summer. Instead, I was going through another ceremony, while also helping to staff the main event. It was an exciting weekend, with almost sixty candidates being initiated into the Order, with another fifty Arrowmen staffing. A lot of fun, it was.

The actual event began on Friday night, though I didn't actually show up at Camp Hahobas until Saturday morning. I stayed the night on Saturday, leaving on Sunday morning after all the camp was cleaned up and checked out. Saturday night was somewhat of an adventure. Camp Hahobas is over 200 acres, the largest camp in the council. I've only been there once before, and that was last summer at my own Ordeal. And just like last summer, I got lost on the way to my cabin. My friend had saved a spot for me in one of the cabins, but finding it proved difficult. Carrying a small duffel bag, and only having a headlamp to illuminate the road, every rustle of the leaves provoked a flurry of imagination. Eventually, lights from a window peeked out at me, and I knew that I had found my destination. It was a warm, peaceful night of sleep.

Returning home was somewhat of an adventure, too. As I stayed late to help clean up, I wasn't able to leave until a little before 11. My friend from Auburn offered me a ride home, promising that my house was on his route home. It wasn't until twenty minutes onto the highway that we discovered that it was in the complete opposite direction. My parents were still able to pick me up from a place that was an hour closer than camp was, but it was just such a funny situation.

A fun weekend, it was.

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 9:30 PM 0 comments

A Perfect Summer Day

My friends and I have way too much fun. It's unfair how much fun we have. I'm sure that in the cosmic balance of fun-ness, there is some group of friends out there that have absolutely no fun at all, for whom staring blankly at a blank wall is considered an activity of unusual excitement. However, I'm not sure that I feel bad for them. I guess I'm selfish that way.

Being a kidnapper is fun, being a kidnapping victim is even better. The deed didn't happen at 7 in the morning, but rather at 1 o'clock in the afternoon, which is still a perfectly acceptable time. It was perfect timing, in fact, it saved me from a drab afternoon of vacuuming. Which I still did anyway, when I got home, but I was already in a good mood. Having no plans whatsoever for the day, being unexpectedly dragged out of the home was very exciting. My best friend didn't even come into the house, she simply called my cellphone, and went on and on about how beautiful it was outside, and that I should go outside and enjoy the sunshine. Climbing into the car, we took off into the street.

Ending up at a grocery store was inevitable for us. Shopping is a classic friends-hanging-out event, but no other sort of shopping holds mutual interest for us. But we all love food, so grocery stores are our natural destinations. However, we only buy items on sale. Tillamook Marionberry-Pie ice-cream ended up in our shopping list, as did whipped cream. My friends had already prepared a cooler of sundae toppings, as well as spoons, cups, and napkins. Tumwater Falls Park was our choice of an eating venue, where the load roaring of water accented the beautiful sunny day. We drove all around town, blasting music out of the speakers, a very strange sight of three teenagers listening to classical vocal music.

Finding ourselves back at my house in the evening, after dropping off one of the group, my friend stayed over for dinner. Before eating, though, we vacuumed the house as I promised my mom that I would do. Chocolate milk was served, with the option of whipped-cream and sprinkles. We watched some TV, and then headed into the woods out back to test out my $1 garage-sale golf clubs. Hitting a golf ball at night with a $1 set of golf clubs is a must-have experience, I highly recommend it to anyone. I had a heckuva lot of fun today.

A perfect summer day.

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 10:21 PM 0 comments

Ape Caves

A deep tunnel runs underneath an area of the Mount St. Helens National Volcanic Monument. It is the Ape Caves, a lava tube that's over two miles long. First discovered in the 50's, and fully explored by a Boy Scout troop, it is now a popular destination for those wishing to venture underground. I've known of it for a long time, but never actually headed there until this past weekend, with my Youth Group. The exploring adventure was fun, scrambling over rocks and climbing into deep recesses. I found myself on my hands and knees near the sealed-end of the cave, trying to see how far in I could go. Other times, I was reaching up to climb over a 8 foot tall lava fall. The ceiling of the tube went from head-height to probably 40 feet up in the air, leading to amazing echos. Flashlights and lanterns were our only illumination, without which I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face. It was pretty darn cool.

thinkandrew

*edit* My awesome friend Peter was there, and was an awesomely cool hiker, did an awesome job climbing over the rocks, and brought an awesomely cool lunch. And yes, he did ask me to do this.

posted by Andrew @ 9:41 PM 0 comments

Practice

Practicing driving has been fun. I'll admit, I didn't know how much fun driving could be until I actually got behind the wheel. It's akin to the feeling I get while riding my bike, but not as much from the feeling of physical exhilaration. More so of the feeling of movement, the feeling of speed, the feeling of controlling my own direction in a way that's faster than I can go myself. The jackrabbit starts, jerky stops, and bumpy accelerations are all just part of the learning experience.

In the past two days, I've gotten a little less than an hour of driving experience. One trip to the grocery store tonight was in the dark, though, so does that count for more? Signaling, turning, adjusting mirrors, using the headlights, these are things that I've had to get used to. Most of the road reactions I've learned already, from countless hours on the street while on a bike. That road-feel has already been ingrained into myself, and reacting to other's actions has become easier for me. Assuming that all other drivers are idiots is key. While I'm on the road, I'm the only one that can do anything right. I have to act as if others are going to do something wrong, in order to drive defensively. However, it would also be helpful if when I'm learning, everyone just went home. Too many cars on the street!

What I'm not used to yet, though, is looking into the mirrors. I have no mirrors on my bike, I simply turn my head to look backwards. Normally, chairs aren't in the way. I've never had a problem with going too fast, either, I've never gone faster than 30 miles per hour on a bike. I was surprised how responsive vehicles are, and that I had to feather the brake and throttle to get the reaction I wanted. My mom will probably wear a helmet if she ever gets in the car with me, she's afraid to give me any driving lessons at all. My dad, on the other hand, handed me the keys on the trip home from the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Practice, practice, practice. That's what I need. Before I know it, I'll be cruising on the streets. But my bike is still my primary vehicle. I wouldn't be surprised at all if my bike will end up costing more than my car. Which is the way it should be.

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 9:25 PM 0 comments

Responsibly, of course

Okay, okay, I'll admit it. I was never a big fan of teenage driving. I thought it was overrated, pointless, and nowhere near as big a deal as most people make it out to be. I don't understand why someone would take their driver's test exactly on their sixteenth birthday, or rave about the new car that they're buying. The supposed freedom that comes with a car also ties in with all the responsibilities of maintenance, gas-money, and licensing.

But that was before I got my license.

It's not technically a license. It's a learner's permit, allowing me to legally drive on the road, while under the instruction of an adult. This afternoon, I took a written driver's test that allows me to do so. When I actually get my full driver's license, I will have to take a driving road-test as well, and I don't plan to do that until next year, when I'm 18 years old. Being 18 will remove all the restrictions of an under-aged driver, restrictions that I don't want to mess with. However, my little paper card (the plastic one will arrive in the mail) says I am now a driver. Of a car, not a bicycle.

Driving will be useful. I think it's very important to think of it that way. Cars are not toys, and should never be treated as such. Getting from Point A to Point B is what they were designed for, and shouldn't be used for anything else. Being responsible in a car is very important, to protect yourself, and everyone else on the street with you.

Who am I kidding? There's a rush, something romantic, that you get from sitting behind the wheel. There's nothing much like cruising on the freeway (no faster that the speed limit, of course), windows down, music playing, and three of your best friends in the car with you. I'm going to love driving. I know it.

Call me a hypocrite if you want to. I'll be speeding away. Responsibly, of course.

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 8:25 PM 0 comments

A Group

A group of friends. We got together for the short time of nine days, in the Canadian wilderness of Quetico Provincial Park. We sat on the plane together, drove up through Minnesota together, and canoed into Canada together. Boy, did we canoe. Sitting in the same seat for over six hours a day, with the same people every day, leads to forming a very tight-knit group. I got to know more about them then I learn about most people in a month. We talked, laughed, argued, and went through the whole team-building process that all leadership conferences teach about. We had a blast. We had such a great adventure, and we were reminiscing about it on the plane all the way home.

But once we left the airport, it was all over. We went home, went to bed, and didn't talk again. I haven't talked to any more than two members of my crew at the same time since, even though it's only been a week and a half. We haven't called each other, haven't exchanged anything more than CDs with two weeks worth of pictures on them. It was great, having such a group for two weeks. But such groups never last. The same thing happened last year, when I was at Philmont. I haven't spoken to many of my Philmont crew for over a year. But that's the nature of summer, I suppose.

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 8:57 PM 0 comments

The End is Coming

I have no meaningful thoughts to post tonight.

Does that ever happen? That a mind can completely go devoid of all deeper thoughts, all ponderings that are truly important? More than likely not. Perhaps I'm just too lazy to think enough to come up with something people would want to read about. Or perhaps the day's events have left me too physically drained to recall what theological epiphanies I had earlier in the day. Being that I have multiple epiphanies every day. Human beings are made to think, and there is much deeper thought in every individual than I think we give each other credit for. Everything we do affects one another, and there is some deep thought process that results from everything we encounter, a process that defines us as who we are. People aren't just simpletons. When we think of others, when we judge them by what they are doing, it's difficult to realize that more than likely, they are doing the exact same thing to us. Not always a pleasant thought, is it? Then try thinking pleasant thoughts more often, so that others might do the same of you.

Boy, what a load of junk I just wrote. I guess that's what happens when I go into writer's block. Perhaps you would just like to read my happenings for today.

Waking up at 6 am is not a regular occurrence for me. Sure, that was my wake-up time every day while at Northern Tier, but that was under special circumstances. A more healthy summer wake-up time would be closer to 9 o'clock in the morning. But I woke up at 6 am today, and got picked up by my best friend at 6:45, so that we could commit a crime. At 7 am. At a friend's house. We drove over to her house, called her cellphone to wake her up, and then yelled at her open bedroom window to come outside. After which, we dragged her into my best friend's car, and sped off. At 7 in the morning. Kidnappings are fun.

Having not hung out as a group of friends since the summer began, it was agreed that we would randomly kidnap someone sometime soon. But an exact date and time were never set, to conceal the element of surprise. After clearing it with our friend's mother, we agreed that Monday morning would be an excellent time to proceed with the plan. We even dressed up, in summer dresses and khakis and polos. A downtown cruise found us at Starbucks, as well as two separate grocery stores. I'm sure they appreciated teenagers storming through before most sane people are awake, but we didn't break anything, and even bought some things. We were the epitome of good behavior, and we perfect ladies and gentleman.

Summer is such a fun time. It leads itself to so many adventures, great times that are so often not experienced. The end is coming too soon.

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 10:03 PM 0 comments

In Control

The cellphones are fine. The old bricks are unlocked. All six of our devices are now fully usable by all of us. It's a welcome relief after a night full of stress yesterday, when I was frantically trying to solve the problem. But I somehow came across the right codes, entered them in, and now the phones are completely free for use. Google is a wonderful thing. So now, I'm enjoying both a Nokia 3200 and a Motorola RAZR V3. A pretty slick deal, if you ask me.

Driving into church five minutes late sometimes happens on Sunday mornings. We're always in a huge rush to leave the house, but somehow are never able to until five minutes before 10:30. It was 10:32 when we pulled into an already nearly-full parking lot. It was a treasure-hunt for a parking space, though we finally found one against the back-side of the main building. It was a tight squeeze, a back-in lot between a minivan and an SUV. Fitting in a minivan ourselves would take some skill. My dad signaled, drove past it, and began backing in. People began lining up on the other side of us, late comers who were trying to squeeze past in their own search for a space. The moment there was enough room in front of us for even a smidgen of a car to pass through, one immediately tried.

We had backed into the parking space slightly askew, and needed to pull forward to straighten out. But instead of continuing down the street to make room for us, the car in front of us simply sat there. With a wide open stretch in front of him. The driver looked at us, over his left shoulder, and began waving at us to continue backing up. I've heard of backseat drivers before, but this guy was in another car, driving his own. How ridiculous is that? He stayed there the entire time, watching and signaling to us, while we had to make minuscule backing and forwarding to straighten out our parking job. When we were finally settled, and the engine was turned off, the driver of the other vehicle gave us a jaunty wave, and sped off. About time.

I found it very interesting, that such a man would spend such a large amount of time trying to teach my dad how to park a car. Even more so, that it was at his inconvenience, and the inconvenience of everyone waiting behind him. I highly doubt that he was concerned about my dad's driving skills. Rather, he wanted to have control of the situation, a situation in which he was not involved. We're always constantly trying to shove ourselves into places where we don't belong at all, no matter what it is. How many times have you simply stopped walking, and tried to explain to someone that what they're doing is wrong? Is there any point in doing so?

Focusing on ourselves is somewhat difficult for us to do sometimes. I mean that in the sense of correcting our own actions. I have to work on it all the time, but I often feel the urge to point out other's mistakes. Why? I'm not sure. But I'm trying to stop.

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 8:28 PM 1 comments

Cellphone Issues

It's a warm night. We just got back from spending over an hour at BestBuy, where we were assured that upgrading our cellphones would be no hassle whatsoever. Having been in the old contract for our full two year agreement, we were told it would be a simple matter to renew our contract, and immediately get brand new devices. This was a very attractive offer to me, being the gadget-lover that I am. However, I was also wanting the use of my old brick cellphone, as an indestructible backup phone, in case I ever needed to throw a cellphone through a wall and still be able to use it. Accessing that connectivity has become a nightmare. Having signed up with the old AT&T (which became Cingular, and then is now the new at&t), the phone was locked out of us. And now it's a battle to find the correct codes to unlock them, and regain electronic use, rather than a fancy paperweight. It's frustrating, and it's making my head hurt.

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 10:29 PM 0 comments

A Disappointment

The dentist told me some sobering news today. While it may just be a regular event to others, his announcement somewhat stunned and shocked me. Yes, I am the proud owner of a brand new cavity. The first cavity I have ever endured in my seventeen years of age. Some might say that going for so long without any dental problems is quite a feat. The dentist was downright surprised that I haven't had one yet. However, a cavity is a cavity. I'm still disappointed in myself, that I let my hygienic standards drop. I guess I'm just a dirty person on the inside.

It's a very small cavity, a pin-hole on the very last molar on my bottom right row. The grooves on the crown of my tooth make it very difficult to clean effectively back there, allowing build-up that led to this hole in my pearly white enamels. I could blame the cavity on many things; my toothbrush wasn't good enough, I was camping so often that daily brushing was difficult. Perhaps I was in a third-world country where clean water was so unavailable that I had to drink nothing but soda to stay hydrated. But I won't make any such excuses. A cavity is a cavity, and it's my fault.

So now I have an appointment on October 6th, at 4:30 pm, to have a filling put in. It won't hurt, will it?

Why am I making such a big fuss over such a non-eventful happening? I'm surprised, I suppose. It's something new, something that I've never experienced before. I'm disappointed in myself, too, though I'll probably get over it very quickly. I suppose I can also join the club of the vast majority of teenagers in the world. To be honest, I'm not sure why I'm making such a fuss. Perhaps because it's something to blog about. I don't know.

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 8:09 PM 2 comments

Bed Time

There is a point of mental exhaustion that I have reached. I am sure that many other people experience such a state quite often, where there is nearly a total lack of motivation to do anything whatsoever. I am not angry. I am not distraught. I am simply...exhausted. Too much thinking is sometimes not a good thing. It makes my mind swell, there's a sort of pressure that builds up inside that makes me want to explode. Or, simply fall asleep right where I sit, to simply disappear from a conscious state of mind for a few hours. That would be refreshing. Thankfully, it's already 9:30 at night. That means I'll be able to go to bed soon. Hopefully, tomorrow will allow myself to relax a bit, and clear my mind.

"Clear your mind of thoughts, Luke."

I'm using the Force!

Mount Rainier called today, and we found ourselves up at Paradise. Paradise being the location of the Jackson Visitor's Center. It's been nearly two years since I've been up on Mount Rainier, and it's the first time that I've experienced the November 2006 flood damage. From what I remember previously, some of the roads we were driving on were re-routed from where they previously laid. Blame the washouts. A ranger slide-show of the damage was incredible to watch, to actually realize the magnitude of the damage caused by the 20 inches of rain in 36 hours. Over 36 million dollars of infrastructure was damaged, and the park was shut down for six months, the first extended period of closure since the park's opening in 1899. Hundreds of thousands of volunteers have nearly overwhelmed the park, and it's slowly returning to its former glory. Our mountain is just as beautiful as it ever was.

My mind needs relaxation. I will go to bed.

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 8:34 PM 0 comments

There Was Joy

There are many stories to tell of my trip to Northern Tier. Like the time where my buddy landed two trophy-sized Smallmouth Bass, both at least 17 inches long. Or the time when we had to slog through about a quarter mile of mud and muck, escaping from a swamp created by a beaver-dam. Or like the morning when I woke up the entire crew by singing love songs from the 30's. Why? Because I'm a hopeless romantic, I suppose. I couldn't help myself. Leaving the Boundary Waters, though, I only have one way to describe it all. An adventure.

Northern Tier High Adventure Base is the oldest of three National High Adventure Bases in the Boy Scouts of America. The other two are Philmont and Florida SeaBase, which were instituted in that order. Northern Tier was a rustic, backcountry experience that skirted between the borders of Minnesota and Ontario. Treks into the Boundary Waters and Quetico Provincial Park still hold that old-style feel, one of complete wilderness, that no one else is around. It's pristine, it's one of the only times were I've ever been in the backcountry without having seen another soul for an entire day. As we neared base camp on our last few days, though, it began to feel like a highway, were more accessible areas of the park were flooded by campers. Still, they did not detract from the majestic views of deep glacial lakes, babbling brooks, waterfalls both small and large, and the loons that would laugh at us every time we passed. As if it was such a novelty to be in a canoe, rather than swimming.



Our trip began in Atikokan, just north of the Canadian border. There's a base there, one of three that Northern Tier runs. The other two are Bissett in Manitoba, and Charles L. Sommers in Ely, Minnesota - the base that our journey would end nine days later. The trip to get to Atikokan itself involved a three hour flight, and about six hours of driving north from Minneapolis. We were all anxious to get on the water, and couldn't wait to leave the cramped quarters of a 12 passenger van. The nine in our crew finally got on the water on August 1st, and we paddled over 17 miles on the first day in high winds. That would be the story of most of our trip, non-stop paddling. We left camp every morning at 7 or before, and arrived around 3. Our shortest day was 12 miles, our longest, 26. We totaled at 164 miles, far more than we thought we would be doing. My huge muscley arms were worth it, though.



Each canoe held three people, as well as two packs full of food and gear. Hauling nine days worth of food for nine people is no easy feat, it took two packs that easily weighed sixty pounds each. As the days progressed, it was great to watch the packs slowly deplete, lightening our load significantly. The canoes never got lighter, though. Fifty-five pounds of pure kevlar weight sat on my shoulders every time we encountered a portage. We once watched people exiting a portage from across the lake, completely in the nude. Eight men carrying canoes in the buff isn't something that I get to see every day. These portages were measured in rods, which is a unit that measures 16.5 feet. Thus, 320 rods in a mile. We encountered a portage 324 rods in length, and I took it as an opportunity to prove to myself that I could carry a canoe for that long. It took a whole liter of Gatorade, but I made it to the end. Boy, was I glad to see Basswood Lake on the other side.

Eagles were constantly soaring overhead. Loons greeted us every morning, laughing at our peculiar ways. If we ever ventured too close, they would dive into the water, disappearing without a trace, only to surface a hundred yards away, a few minutes later. Beaver dams littered rivers, though we never actually saw a beaver. A small river otter made an appearance in camp one morning, I spied it running down towards the shore. Alas, we saw no moose, no bear, or any other large animals. But there is joy in the little ones. There was joy on the whole trip.

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 6:16 PM 0 comments

Northern Tier High Adventure Base

I must admit, when I knew for sure that I'd be going to Northern Tier High Adventure Base, I kinda walked towards the adventure with expectancies. I thought I would know what it would be like, judging by my previous experiences at Philmont. Even so, I headed for Minnesota with an open mind, and I was entirely pleased to have a great experience. It was a completely different experience from Philmont, and I had an incredible amount of fun. I don't think I've ever been surrounded by so much pristine wilderness, where the number of people per square mile is approaching zero. I love the Northwoods. It's an amazing country, and a trip that I'll never forget.



Such a canoeing trip is very different from any backpacking trip that I've been on. Other than the fact that we were traveling from one campsite to another, there were very few things similar. We traveled 154 miles in just nine days, and even paddled 26 miles in a single day. A mile long portage with a 55 pound Kevlar canoe squarely on my shoulders was difficult. It wasn't as physically tough as expected, though I did find myself having a few nights of very good sleep. The farmer tan came out nicely, too.



A wonderful trip it was, indeed. There's so much more to say about it. There's just not very many words that I'm able to write at this moment. Darned writer's block. I'll write more tomorrow.



thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 6:58 PM 0 comments

Talking

I promise I'll write about Northern Tier tomorrow.

Boy, do people love to talk. There seems to be a non-stop chatter that emanates from certain people's mouths. I won't tell a lie, I'm sure there have been many times where people thought of me in that way. It also seems amazing to some that one person would have so much junk to write about daily, for over a year and a half.

We went to a Sizzler Restaurant this afternoon, for an after-church lunch. It's a family style restaurant where you pay at the front, and have food brought to you at the table. It's also well known for its ridiculously large salad-bar, which is a lunch special all in itself. I had the Steak and Endless Shrimp combo, as well as a salad bar order. Deep fried shrimp came and came in bowls, while I could go back to the bar again and again for an assortment of vegetables, fruits, soups, and even fried chicken. Gluttony was never so easy.

Halfway through my plate of lettuce, onions, tomatoes, and about a cup of croûtons (every kid's dream, no?), a waiter brought out my platter of steak and shrimp. He was a taller African-American man, wearing khakis and a purple polo-shirt. About ten to twenty minutes later, our server came back to refill our water, only he was wearing an orange polo-shirt. This continued throughout our meal, the same waiter coming back wearing alternating shirts. The same-looking waiter, I should say. Obviously it was two different people, as constantly changing shirts would probably lower the productivity of wait-staff. Yes, they were identical twins.

Near the end of our meal, the purple-waiter came over and apologized for the slightly slower service, due to the sudden rush of after-church eaters. We assured him that we didn't notice the delay at all, we were having a wonderful time with our meal. We asked his name, whether or not he was a student, and a few other cordialities. And as if on cue, he suddenly broke out into a spiel, telling us how he attended University of Nevada, his major, and how he was going to graduate school the following year. He told us how he worked two jobs when an undergraduate, how easy it is to make money in food-service. He asked my brother where he goes to school, and how graduating from college is akin to getting your first driver's license. The plastic card in the mail, mind you, not the dinky paper one from the DMV. He was an amiable fellow, and certainly interesting enough to talk to. It just struck me as funny that a waiter on the clock would spend almost ten minutes telling us about his life. He finished by saying that he hoped to run for public office one day, and to vote for him in ten to fifteen years. After which, he called over his twin brother.

Purple-waiter left, and Orange-waiter picked right up where the conversation let off. It was at this point where I almost fell over laughing, as it was an identical twin with the same capacity for conversation that took over our table. He was just as friendly as his brother. When they both left, and we were about to leave the restaurant, I noticed them pulling the same tag-teaming conversation with other tables. I suppose when your shift is almost over, you loosen yourself up a little bit.

Waiters are funny people.

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 8:08 PM 0 comments

The Report of My Death Was an Exaggeration

- Mark Twain, New York Journal, June 2, 1897

I feel somewhat connected to the great author at this moment. A feigned death is an experience that few people get the chance to live through. I must say that the experience somewhat agrees with me, especially since it spiked my blog traffic. As many of my readers know, I'll do anything to increase my blog traffic. Apparently, it takes a best friend (with a friend like him, who needs enemies?), a eulogy, and many sincere condolences to do so. Perhaps I could capitalize on the opportunity, and introduce Google Ads while feigning an imminent collapse. PayPal donations, anyone?



Ethan feared that my laugh will be one of incredulity, after realizing that there are indeed caring folk in this world. Or that his massive abuse of contributing power would result in a backlash of Andrew-powered retribution. I assure you, a laugh did result at my reading of the drama that ensued from his antics. Tall Indian men would concur, good natured humor certainly makes the world go 'round. I don't think that I've ever had so much fun from dying.

There is much irony to be appreciated from this situation. That a buddy of mine got in so much humor-filled trouble is somewhat amusing to me. Perhaps you're just too good of a writer, Ethan. To have a feigned death elicit so many compliments from such a cynical friend also drives me up the wall. I'm an acclaimed mathematician, AND a Star Wars fanatic. That my blog traffic spiked (I'm dead, so no more posts, remember?), instead of Ethan's, is about the funniest thing that's happened to me in cyberspace.

Of course, there is a downside to all this hullabaloo. As the repercussions from my death have been so exactly described, I will be very disappointed if it doesn't really happen that way. I expect a large wake. (By the way, Ethan, I live in Olympia, not Seattle.) CNN had better cover my funeral, or I will be very sore. And by golly, if I don't make Ethan cry for real, there will have been no point to this entire adventure. Watching his fake tears flow off the pages of my blog was one of the highlights of the entire post.



It's been a wild ride. Being gone for two weeks lends mischievous bloggers some very juicy opportunities, and Ethan certainly seized them. I found it amusing, but there are others that certainly didn't. It would be a lie to say that I don't enjoy this little soap-opera that developed around me, even while on vacation. I laughed, even when not considered fully appropriate. I felt loved, when people showed sincere and real condolences for my feigned demise. The esteemed Bonhoeffer Bug had these words to say:

I did not doubt that someone would be fooled by this. Let this be a lesson: always have a healthy sense of doubt, especially when reading something, especially on the Internet.

But in all seriousness, death is always imminent. As my mom noted, our Boy Scout Troop did indeed fly into Minneapolis-St. Paul. Our driving route took us across the I-35W bridge, on our way up north to Northern Tier. As a real CNN report showed, that bridge collapsed during rush-hour on August 1st, a day after we drove over it. It's scary to think that we're always so close to the edge, yet comforting to feel that God watched over us on our trip. God protected us from driving into the Mississippi River, He protected me from actually drowning in Ontario.

Let's lay the civil unrest to bed, shall we? No more scathing comments will be necessary, nor will guilt-tripping Ethan any more. While initially shocking, all of this should remain as a humor-filled memory. No ill-will needs to be shared. That's not to say that I won't be milking my (personal, no one else may. Because I say so.) gloating opportunities for all it's worth, though. Ethan, you certainly dug a beautiful hole for yourself.

And now, it is time for me to reclaim my rented-out bedroom. And today, I sign off for real.

thinkandrew

posted by Andrew @ 9:45 AM 1 comments

He's back...

So Andrew's coming back tomorrow. A lot of things have happened here while he was gone. First of all, he "died". Haha, Ethan. Then, we rented out his room. I wonder how Andrew will deal with his new roommate. We can't really kick him out; the lease is until the end of the month. Oh well, maybe he'll camp in the back yard. Isn't that what Boy Scouts do anyway?

It's been real quiet with him gone, though - almost unnaturally so. With more than half the family gone on trips the whole house feels a little dead. We've taken advantage of the empty house by cleaning the house from top to bottom. Now it's all nice and clean, ready for everybody to come back and mess it up again. The endless cycle repeats. It's been nice having peace and quiet for awhile, but it'll be good to have a full house again.

The canoeing crew returns some time late tomorrow night. A host of scout parents are driving up to the airport to welcome the returning grungy group of guys and bring them home. There will be no huge welcome home bash for the illustrious author of this blog, however - we're leaving tomorrow afternoon to visit Caleb at camp and bring him home on Saturday. They're going to come home to an empty house. Oh the irony.

posted by Andrew @ 11:11 PM 1 comments

Return of the Andrew

Gotcha.

No, Andrew returns tomorrow.

Yay.

posted by ethan @ 7:38 PM 0 comments

Room To Let

Owner gone too often and too long, lonely room looking for new dedicated occupant. Comes fully furnished with comfortable twin size bed, down comforter and multiple pillows. Three huge drawers under bed for eclectic storage. White study desk faces west window. Multiple book shelves for displaying books and collectibles. Huge closet space with shelves and double rods for all hanging needs.

Room is spacious, bright and cheery and fully equipped with a plasma sphere guaranteed to make your hair stand on end. Assorted Star Wars action figures stand at attention to protect against intruders. Full set of Star Wars novels comes free with rental, however, the extensive collection of origami books is not available for use by renter without prior consent. Genuine reproduction of Middle Earth map remains the possession of landlord. If interested, renter may negotiate for displaying of map in room with additional fee.



By renting this room, the renter agrees to:
- Keep the floor of the room clear of any debris. Any item other than the bed, desk and shelf is considered debris.
- Keep all clothing items in the closet or hooks on the wall supplied for such purpose.
- Keep all books and study items on study desk or book shelves.
- Dust and vacuum room weekly.

Furthermore, the renter agrees to:
- Take the kitchen waste to the compost bin nightly.
- Take out the garbage bin to the road side every Thursday evening, and every other Thursday, the recycling bin and yard waste bin also. Once every four weeks, the glass recycling bin needs to be set out.
- Collect the various bins every Friday and return them to the proper stowing position AFTER the bins have been emptied by the respective trucks.
- Vacuum and wash the vehicles as needed.
- Mow the lawn at least once a week during the peak growing season of fall and spring, less often during the dry summer months.

Room rate is extremely affordable. House is conveniently located near college, bus route and highway exit. If interested, leave contact information below.

p.s. Meal plan is negotiable.
p.p.s. Complimentary ants in room on wall, bed, and floor.

Guest contributor

posted by Andrew @ 9:44 PM 0 comments

Loose change

And now, something harmless:


We walked up to the counter and handed the teller a deposit slip. Out from the shoulder bag came a bag of dollar coins, a bag of quarters, a bag of dimes, and one of nickels and one of pennies. We had spent a good hour separating the whole jar of coins into dollar piles. There were over $50 worth of pennies and quarters and so on. Now we gleefully handed the coins to the unlucky teller.

His eyes widened with disbelief as we pulled out one bag after another of coins and more coins. Feeling somewhat guilty yet we couldn't control our giggling as we saw his expression. This is a particularly small bank branch tucked into a corner of a grocery store. This was where we opened our accounts and where we normally do our banking. It doesn't have all the facilities of a regular bank office, most importantly, it doesn't have a coin-counting machine.

The teller casted a sideway glance to his colleague and asked, "Do I have to count it all or can I just use their numbers?" Even though he was smiling when he said, "Now I won't be bored," I doubt he was really looking forward to all that counting. We walked away half embarrassed, and yet, what are we to do with all those coins if we can't bring them to the bank? Isn't that what banks are for?

Guest contributor

posted by Andrew @ 5:44 PM 2 comments

The importance of not going too far

This is Ethan writing. I'm one of Andrew's friends and I have a morbid sense of humour. I was made one of the contributors to this blog while Andrew was away. You'll want to read every word I write down to the very end. Just to be clear about that.

I woke up in the middle of the night - about 3 AM - and noticed I had received an SMS (from someone who shall not be named).

Oh God. I wake up in the middle of the night to know Andrew's dead. I take it you went for the funeral? Hope you're doing fine and all that. Best wishes. Night.

It occurred to me right then, with cold, ominous foreboding, that perhaps not everybody had read between the lines and understood that it was all a bloody joke. This may come as well duh, to those who spotted it a mile away.

But as for those who didn't?

For those who didn't, I offer my most sincere apologies for making you shed those unnecessary tears. And now I suppose I'll have to suffer your righteous indignation as I so rightly deserve. Tar and feather me, shackle me to the stocks, send me to the gallows. The guilt is almost unbearable.

Those condolences in the previous post... my God, they're real (with the exception of the first anonymous comment which my brother wrote giggling and chuckling as he did so). They're freaking real. The thought of having written a phony news article so damnably convincing has my hands trembling and shaking like leaves in the wind. I didn't know.

Didn't the part about the news crews tip you off??

Suzanne from the UK was "shocked and numbed" by it all.

I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am.

Andrew will come back in a few days, alive and well, and have a good laugh at all this - the condolences, the SMS, and even my official apology. Only his laugh will be one of incredulity as well, as he discovers that there are people who care about him. Perhaps he may even be angry at my abuse of contributing power. So be it.

My mom told me not to laugh at death after reading the previous post. My God, she was right.

To be on the safe side, this post shall also be posted on my own blog before more emotional damage can be done. Joshua brother-of-Andrew was planning to write Andrew's Last Will And Testament. As a joke, obviously. I suggest you don't do it, Joshua.

It would be the height of irony if Andrew did die, somehow, on his trip. Don't die, Andrew. I don't want you to die. Not yet anyway. You need to come back and assure your friends that you're still alive.

posted by ethan @ 2:24 PM 8 comments